At the ripe old age of 14, I accepted Christ as my savior. I attended a Christian school and my parents were Christians; I lived in a Christian bubble. Being a Christian was pretty much what everyone around me was doing, so it was easier to live the life outwardly. Then I graduated high school and my parents divorced. Life hit me square in the face. Since I had been sheltered (my parents just protected me — I get that now), all I wanted to do was experience all the things that most teenagers do in their high school years. I wanted to party and drink and smoke weed (yes to those who only know me like I am now — I was a big pot head back in the day). If someone would have tried to tie me down to a particular belief system back in my twenties, I would have said to each his/her own. If I were to be completely honest, I was ashamed to tell people what I believed in my heart. I was afraid of being judged and rejected by my peers. So instead, I did all the things that were deemed acceptable at the time.
“It is easier to fall for anything than to stand for something.”
1927 July 29, Athens Messenger, Sermonograms, Quote Page 8, Column 7, Athens, Ohio. (NewspaperArchive)
And boy did I ever fall for all the lies.
- Deciding to abort your child is your choice and it won’t affect you later. (I’ve never had an abortion but I supported friends who decided to have one).
- Being agnostic was okay – at least they believed in a higher power of some kind.
- Dipping my finger into paganism was okay and made me feel powerful.
- Filling my head full of images/videos/sounds that are full of negativity and lies doesn’t effect what I believe.
- A lifestyle of drinking and smoking pot wouldn’t affect my life down the road.
- I couldn’t live the life that God wanted me to live.
Now that I’ve come back to the Lord, there are a few things I REALLY understand:
- Aborting your child is not only murder (which is bad enough), but it is physically and mentally hard on the mother. Isaiah 49:15, Psalms 139:13-16
- There is only one way to God and that is through Jesus Christ. Any other way is a lie. John 14:6
- Satan will give you ideas and tell you things to make something seem okay; things that make you feel empowered. It’s temporary and always empty. Genesis 3:1-6, Psalm 38:3-4
- Junk in – Junk out Deuteronomy 8:3, 2 Peter 1:4
- I wasted so much of my life not being present. I also missed spending precious time with my family. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, Psalm 90:12
- God equips us to live a life that is pleasing to Him. God makes the impossible possible. Matthew 19:26
It’s true – hindsight is always 20/20 and a little wisdom from the Lord doesn’t hurt either. I guess looking back now what really upsets me is all the people I could have led toward Jesus and all the work I could have done as a young person for the Kingdom of God. I can’t believe I let the lies rule my life but I did. I guess the good thing that has come out of it is an understanding of what other young Christians might be going through. I pray I have the opportunity to witness to a young Christian when times get tough and the temptation to fall away is great.
I never want to be in this situation – EVER:
“Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.” Mark 8:38
I am so glad that now I stand for Jesus and through the discernment He gives me, I no longer fall for anything.